Diving Into Meditation
It was back in high school as part of a class exercise that I experienced intentional meditation for the first time.
Our teachers had our whole class walk silently in a line outside of our classrooms with the sole request of focusing on our breath and each of our steps.
This exercise turned out to be my first walking meditation!
While the details are fuzzy to me now, I do remember the difficulty in being asked to essentially be present instead of getting lost in thought.
As a teenager, especially one as self-conscious and apprehensive as I was, this was a lot to ask! Now I wonder how much I would have gained had I stuck with it from that point on…
Fast forward to 2009. I was living in the Outer Sunset of San Francisco with my sister while attending college when I reattempted meditation.
I had read of a visualization exercise in a book – Same Soul, Many Bodies by Brian Weiss, M.D., the first of its kind that I had ever come across.
While the visualization aspect was pleasantly healing in its own right, the act of lying down, relaxing the body, focusing on the breath, and emptying the mind of excess thought is what hooked me.
I felt open, light, receptive, and completely calm for the first time in what felt like ages.
This was a big difference for me considering I tended to overthink a lot back then (and, at times, still do but now I’m much more aware of it).
While a flow of thoughts is believed to be necessary in being productive, creating things and, essentially, getting shit done, a constant barrage of thoughts is not only energy draining and stressful but can lead to a sense of groundlessness and confusion.
I had come to the realization that I was just too heady.
Having finally experienced the complete opposite of that I was inspired to dive in, not only into meditation but also other types of spiritual techniques and information, like near-death experiences, channeling, and the mind-body-spirit connection.
This all turned out to be quite a catalyst in my development, considering at the time I was leaning toward atheism, although I was still open to the idea of some sort of higher power.
All those years of being indoctrinated into Catholicism since I was a child yet always feeling like something was off eventually led me to reject religion completely.
But as I read of other people’s experiences and began practicing meditation on my own, I began noticing a difference in how I perceived the world and myself. I also observed unmistakable positive changes in my life.
My self-awareness increased and with that I began to notice my thoughts while I was thinking them, instead of letting the thoughts take hold of me.
I became less reactive and instead started to take mental pauses, just long enough to choose my responses to circumstances and interactions.
It’s been a work in progress, of course.
There are still old patterns and habits of thought that I totally get lost in but I always come back to the understanding that those can be changed as well and replaced with attitudes that are more beneficial and life-promoting.
I’ve come to have more compassion and patience with myself, while also feeling less stressed and more productive.
I have also experienced first-hand how all of life is so intricately and beautifully connected.
I think the greatest benefits I’ve gained through meditation is the ability to connect with a deeper part of myself – my pure Self – while being more present.
Presence is key since life only exists in the present moment!
In our society, where everyone seems so busy all the time, our minds are constantly jumping backward and forward on an illusory timeline, whether it’s ruminating on the past or planning out our future and to-do lists.
Granted, learning from our past and having the ability to plan ahead is extremely helpful, but we must also remember that change can only come in the present moment. It is truly where all of our power lies.
When we are present, life is able to flow from one moment to another with ease. We’re better able to lessen our attachment and need for control and just… breathe.
For more information on mindfulness and meditation as well as an easy exercise to get you started, check out my other post ‘Mindfulness Meditation Basics: Learning to Let Go’
