Discerning Between the True Self and the False Self

There’s nothing more fascinating yet vastly limiting than the human ego.

As I’ve committed myself more and more to living out my spiritual nature, my understanding of the ego, or false self, has evolved as well as my awareness as to how it impacts our lives in both major and subtle ways.

In most spiritual traditions, the ego is seen as a source of suffering and a barrier to enlightenment. According to these traditions, the ego is the source of attachment to material possessions, power, and prestige, which can lead to negative emotions such as greed, envy, and pride. It’s also the aspect of ourselves that believes in lack and limitation.

Overcoming or dissolving the ego, therefore, is seen as a necessary step on the path to spiritual liberation or enlightenment.

What I’ve been learning and seeing firsthand when it comes to how our ego creates our suffering is through various, specific factors, most of which are unconscious. The ego’s attachment to the phenomenal (material) plane, its identification as the body, its belief in separateness, and its irreconcilable fear, are some of the most common errors that it instills within us, keeping us in a state of delusion. Fear and it’s offshoots, such as guilt, shame, apathy, desire, and anger, act as a major telltale sign that we are living from our ego versus our higher self, or spirit.

While the ego does play a role in our human experience mediating between our individual desires and the outside world, it is also something to be overcome due to the fact that it is created out of, and in response to, the “other.” This means it is an aspect of ourselves that developed in relation to our upbringing and environment. It’s also the part of us that was molded by those around us, so that we would “fit in” and be able to play the various roles that others had envisioned for us.

It’s this social mask or persona that we adopt to fit in with society. Because the false self can lead to a sense of disconnection and alienation from one's true nature, it can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression. It’s the ego that stands as a person's false sense of self or identity which believes in separation and keeps us from experiencing our wholeness. Again, this is not our true nature, which exists beyond the small, ego identity, and which brings me to our next point.

What is the true self?

The true self refers to the core of who we are, beyond our external appearances, societal roles, and learned behaviors. While it is the authentic expression of our soul’s deepest desires, values, and motivations, it is also beyond all identity, serving as a reminder of how we are ultimately an extension of Source. It is this pure consciousness or awareness that underlies all of our experiences.

The true self knows of its inherent wholeness, and it is the source of love, compassion, and creativity.

When we are “tapped in” to our true self, we feel expansion, freedom, inner peace and joy. We perceive from a higher vantage point, seeing our infinite potential and connection to all life. Life is then able to unfold with a sense of trust, ease, and flow.

Living from the true self is associated with spiritual and personal growth, as we strive to align our thoughts, feelings, and actions with our deepest sense of purpose and meaning. This is where practices such as meditation, self-reflection, self-inquiry, and mindfulness are invaluable tools as they allow us to connect with our true selves by helping us becoming more present and aware of our thoughts and emotions, without identifying as them.

When we are able to discern between our false self and ego thoughts and the internal knowingness of our true self we naturally cultivate a more compassionate and selfless way of being in the world. It’s by committing to transcending our sense of self-importance and our attachment to material things (i.e. the ego) that we’re able to align ourselves with the true self, whereby we can achieve a state of inner peace and spiritual fulfillment.

In summary, living from ego and living from the true self represent two different ways of experiencing and navigating the world.

Living from ego means being primarily identified with one's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, which are driven by self-interest, fear, and attachment. People living from ego are often preoccupied with seeking approval, status, and success, and may feel disconnected from their deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment. They may also experience negative emotions such as anxiety, jealousy, and resentment when their needs are not met or when their expectations are not fulfilled.

On the other hand, living from the true self involves connecting with one's authentic nature, values, and desires. People living from the true self are guided by their intuition and inner wisdom, and they are motivated by a sense of meaning and purpose that transcends their individual needs and desires. They experience positive emotions such as joy, love, and compassion, and are better able to form deep and meaningful relationships with others.

By living as the true self we connect with our innermost selves, cultivating a sense of presence and openness to the present moment, and letting go of attachments to external outcomes and identities.