Flashes of Insight: My Journey Into Spirituality
While I’ve considered myself a spiritual person for over a decade, it hasn’t been until more recent years that spirituality has taken a much more prominent role in my life.
With this, all areas of my life have either noticeably improved or my understanding and perception of myself and my life have seen tremendous growth!
Granted, I still get caught up in problems brought on by my ego (which can turn even the simplest matter into a full-blown personal mini-drama!) but since I’ve set the intention to truly know myself and my spiritual nature, even the biggest challenges feel like they can be overcome in time.
What’s more, they don’t feel as much like impossible roadblocks but exciting opportunities for further self-compassion, understanding, and expansion.
I’ve realized that the majority of the time the biggest problems we face are ones we’ve created in ourselves out of unconsciousness.
This may come in the form of ignorance, denial, limitation, judgment, or various coping mechanisms, some of which we’ve used for so long that they’ve become habitually ingrained into who we are.
But it’s when we begin to unravel these false concepts and beliefs about ourselves and instead remember the truth of who we are that we begin experiencing powerful self-transformation.
And, as with cause and effect, our lives then inevitably change in order to match the new internal viewpoints and energetic shifts in our vibration.
“If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. Primary reality is within; secondary reality without.”
Eckhart Tolle
I’ve seen countless examples of this truth in my own life that it’s no longer a question but a vivid reality.
Yet it wasn’t until I began viewing my life from a spiritual standpoint that my self-esteem and confidence improved, my fear lessened, and my intuitive abilities increased (most likely because I began trusting them more).
All of these things started to allow for further insights and moments of clarity to reveal themselves to me.
Perhaps one of the most memorable examples of this occurred more than 5 years ago while I was driving to my dad’s house in Guerneville, California, which happens to be a small town situated along the Russian River and hidden among the gigantic redwood trees which are famous in the area.
As I was meandering through the trees and vineyards, I found myself simply admiring the view even though I had been down that road hundreds of times.
I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular when a sudden thought hit me. Was it a thought, or more so a feeling…? Maybe it was a knowing.
It was this:
We are Source (or the universe) experiencing itself.
This means that by creating individual parts out of the greater whole, infinite experiences are then formed and the vast game of life is set into motion…
How badass is that??
Now, this inner realization came to me before I had heard of Alan Watts, who is credited with the quote, “You are the universe experiencing itself.” And while I had been delving into many books on spirituality and metaphysics by this point, nothing had quite alluded to this notion yet.
Still, it’s clear to me now that truth comes to all of us in all sorts of different ways, it’s just a matter of being open to receiving it.
I suppose by making my way down a well-known road and admiring the beauty around me, my mind fell silent, enough to lessen my resistance in the moment. I believe it’s this lessening of inner resistance that allowed me to be receptive to this insight and clarity.
What I remember most after having had that powerful realization was an unmistakable and overwhelming sense of love, joy, and awe.
I realized everything that I could see – the earth, the trees, the clouds, the other people in their cars – we were all part of the same whole, all connected by the same thread: consciousness.
It’s because of consciousness that we can say we have any experiences at all.
Because of this fact, I felt even more inspired to learn what I could about consciousness and its inherent role in our lives.
Another year or so of experience and learning passed when I had my second key realization:
Love and consciousness are one and the same.
The infinite faces of love & consciousness.
If you ever feel inclined to study near-death experiences (NDEs), you’ll find the majority of peoples’ accounts talk about an indescribable amount of unconditional love that envelops them as soon as they leave their physical bodies, “enter the light,” and return back to pure consciousness.
I believe it’s from this unfathomable unconditional love that we stem from. You can call it Source, Creator, God, Infinite Intelligence or whichever name you prefer.
Just as consciousness has no beginning or end, neither does love. They both overcome duality and have no true opposite.
While having this understanding has been great, implementing this knowledge into my life is where the greatest healing and change has taken effect.
I recognize that it’s when we forget that we come from (and are!) this love that we become unconscious, thus believing in our separation. And it’s this feeling of separation that creates so much suffering for ourselves and the world at large.
Knowing this, it becomes easier to have compassion for ourselves and others when we act out in harmful ways. Our awareness becomes a light that shines on the shadow of our suffering, chasing out all underlying delusions.
We come to see how fear, hate, doubt, or anger is really unconscious, misguided, and distorted love.
The key question then becomes: do we react to this unconsciousness with further unconsciousness or do we respond with love?
It’s by becoming more aware of ourselves and learning to recognize where we’ve been (or are being) unconscious that the real journey back toward balance and wholeness begins.
What kinds of insights have you experienced in your life that have changed your perception of things?
Are you also learning to recognize the ways in which you may act unconsciously? What steps are you taking to create greater awareness and change in yourself?
Feel free to share in the comments below! I’d love to hear of your experiences and insights!
